Thursday, July 25, 2013

Neighborhood Happy Hour

Remember how I said I was going to start reaching out to my neighbors more, especially the ones I don't know?  Yeah, I've been a bit behind on that.  I had great intentions this spring, but the weather was rainy every weekend.

But this weekend, it's supposed to be a bit cooler than usual, so we're doing it. Invites go out today.  We'll have beer and snacks. Maybe some punch because I just love sherbet and ginger ale.  If you're a friend in KC, drop by if you'd like!

Sunday Happy Hour
Let’s be neighborly this weekend!
Sunday July 28, 2013
On the parched front lawn of Starr and Ryan Kiefer (plus kids Katie, Winslow, and Drew)

1.       But I don’t know my neighbors! Why should I attend?
Wouldn’t you like to meet more of your neighbors?   We live in Neighborville, not Everyman-for-himself-ville!

What if you’ve fallen and you can’t get up?  You can’t always call cousin Wilbur over in Independence to come help—why not call your neighbor instead? 

What if you need an extra loaf of tofu, but your deadbeat friend recently borrowed your car and wrecked it so you can’t get to the store?  Your neighbor might have tofu!

What if you’ve had a hard day and need someone to listen to your travails, and your partner doesn’t want to hear one more gripe about it?  Go unload on your newly befriended neighbor!

2.       I still don’t understand why I should come.
There will be food and drink. 

3.       Did you invite me so you can sell Amway products? 

I solemnly swear this is not a sales party disguised as pure fun.  It’s just fun, y’all.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

How to Have It All At the Same Time

I'm going to share a huge DIY secret today.  And it is going to blow your mind,  infinity times infinity style.

Do you wanna get it all done?  And by all, I actually mean *everything*!? Here's a step-by-step tutorial:

1) Plan a trip to visit family. Tell hubby he's staying at home rather than joining you.

2) Go enjoy your time in Georgia, savoring the cuddles with cousins, field trips to the Rock Ranch, sessions at the Chuck E. Cheese, happy hours with old friends, trips to the ER for your poor son, momentarily forgetting that you have a loved one 850 miles away...

3) Make it home in one piece (despite the injured son).

4) Realize that YES, you do have it all.  Be inspired by the awesomeness!

A clean side yard, less lots of junk and one dying cherry tree!

A new black-top on the driveway!

(Free) Granite staged for a patio!

More wild flowers in bloom!

Finally, a squash on the mystery vine!

Sunflowers ready to bloom!

Peppers, tomatoes, melons!*  

And who made it all happen?  Was it me, the mom who has it all? Nope, it was Ryan.

See? It's easy to have it all!  Leave for awhile, and it all magically happens!

*Having it all also means you can use exclamation points with abandon.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

The Truth about 7-11

Today is my 33rd birthday. I forgive you for not making a note about it last year so you could send me an awesome present.  Just make sure you don't forget in 2014 or else I'll hold a grudge forever.  But the only present on my list is this.  Anything less will be rejected, 'k?

I'm still in Georgia visiting family with the kids.  I'm five pounds heavier than 10 days ago, and I might be eating a cookie right now (obviously those two things are not related).  And since I'm letting you in on all these secrets, I might as well bust a few myths about The Kiefer Cottage. Things that have been keeping you up at night.

Myth #1: We are a very busy family.

Truth: We are a very un-busy family.  I may be loud and opinionated and seem to be high energy, but I really like my down time.  Leaving the house at 8am to cart the kids from activity to activity only to return home at 8pm is not my idea of fulfillment.  It's not because I'm a simpleminded fool who doesn't crave intellectual stimulation, but because I can get what I need without being out and about all the time.  I really prefer high quality fun (fine dining, for instance) with plenty of recovery time in between.  I love reading, which, ahem, is a real hobby, people, but I can stay home for that.  And you know how much crafting I do (none).

"Busy" loving baby cousins, perhaps.

Katie did take ballet once per week this past spring, but you won't see us at sports activities, kiddie gym, art class, baby meditation, youngster's origami, or advanced potty training coaching sessions.  As the children enter school, you might think the calendar will fill up, but I am an ace at saying No.  Anyway, since being a know-it-all doesn't pay very well, we can afford to try everything, just not all at once.  Well, maybe not everything.  I'm okay with the kids forgoing pilot training, although I would absolutely adore it if they took up kitchen remodeling or roofing or plumbing or electrician-ing or lawyering.  If those classes aren't offered, they should be!  And I'm not necessarily talking about 9 to 5 type "work" training--there's plenty of time for that later (in fact, way too much time is devoted to working), but learning a few real skills sounds pretty good to me.  The sports field ain't the only place to do it.   But that's a whole other myth to bust one day.  And if I sign up the kids for those things, I'll just be making us busy, which is the exact opposite of what I want to do.  So forget it, enrichment planners, please don't start a kiddie roofing class or else I'll feel inclined to enroll Drew, who is definitely old enough to install shingles.

I can't swim, and I still poop my pants, but I can re-wire the house, Mom!

Myth #2: We are insanely attractive.

Truth: We actually are insanely attractive.

So cute she's almost edible.
So really, I only had one myth to bust.  Happy Birthday to me.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Plane from the Plains

Yesterday, the kids and I flew to Georgia to visit family.
Do not be fooled by that little boy's smile.  Only moments earlier, during takeoff, the child was quaking with fear, begging me to tell the plane to land.  It's not that he didn't understand what was going on.  He actually understood it too well and refused to look out the window.  Minutes later, though, he was yelling with joy, "I'm flying, Mommy!  Don't tell me to shush! I'm flying!".  The poor guys in front of us all ordered cocktails.

Winslow ate her weight in fruit snacks, but was otherwise well-behaved.

And Katie was a total angel.  I'm sure the guy sitting next to her didn't love having a 5 year old row-mate, but I'm not sure you could ask for better--she's tiny, made no noise, and didn't try to sleep on him. Plus, she had even had a bath the night before!  I've had plenty of adults slobber on me and rub their never-been-bathed stench on me.  I've wondered if I have a tattoo on my forehead that's visible only to the worst offenders: Please sit next to me.  I love stinky pits and death breath!

The kids are with Ryan's parents right now, so I'm taking the day off at my dad's house, catching up on years of cable television.  Sadly, there's a Property Virgins marathon on HGTV, and I've already seen the majority of the episodes, despite the fact I haven't had cable in over two years. Why is it always like that?  Only thing worse I can think of would be a House Hunters marathon.  Where's Sarah Richardson???  At least the house is stocked with ice cream sandwiches and hard cider. 

Anyway, Happy Fourth of July, people of America.  Take full advantage of your God given right to cheap beer, grilled meat, and illegal fireworks. 
Blogging tips