Painting the Cave

You've seen bits and pieces of our family room.  When we purged toys.  When we framed our professional wannabe photos.  

This room is a cave.  Ceiling tiles.  Horrible light fixture.  Fake wood paneling--it's not even grooved. It's just photocopied wood grain pasted onto drywall.

The paneling was installed in such a way that we couldn't just paint over it.  Not only did we have to use that de-shiny-stinky-stuff to make it amenable to paint...

But we also had these seams to deal with.  That means someone had to seal the seams.  And that someone was not gonna be me.

Ryan graciously volunteered (yes, he did...if I keep saying it, it shall be true) to do the work. So he bought a bucket of mud and got to muddin'.  And despite my assumptions otherwise, this mud is not the kind you can make in your own backyard.  You can't give yourself a facial with it, either.  And muddin' does not entail going out in a rugged 4WD vehicle.  Or the Volvo station wagon your daddy gave you that you then crash so that it never drives again.  That's a totally different thing.

You can see which one he did first. And then he got better at it.

After he sanded it down, we painted the room "Winter Wheat" by Olympic ONE.  I've used this color before, so I knew it was a winner (just like me).  It's almost considered a beige, but in reality, it's a light yellow that turned our last house from a cave to a palace, so I figured it didn't hurt to do it again.  Technically, this work is temporary until we amass a fortune so we can gut the room, re-wire, put drywall in, etc, meaning I can change the color later to something new if I so choose.

And here it is as a final product.  The room is still a tad dark because we need more windows.  However, it is now not even close to a cave.  There are no chipmunks to be found hiding here (anymore).  I enjoy coming down the stairs to this room.  I'll love it even more when we get art back on the walls.  And the trim painted. And the ceiling demolished.  Oh, you get the point.

My lovely vintage sofa goes perfectly with the color.  I really adore this piece and don't care if that makes me a polyester-wearin' granny.

The great desk given to me by my brother Ryan.  Looks good against the wheat color.

All in all, we're not even close to finished with this room.  But in the meantime, it's a pleasure spending time here.

I linked up to A Bowl Full of Lemons, Type A Decorating, Domestically Speaking, Saved by Suzy.

Open House Win

We're winners here at the Kiefer Cottage.  Not to say that everyone else is a loser.  Just saying we are most definitely cream of the crop, top of the heap around here.

How do I know this?

We had a great party.  And losers don't have great parties. Winners do.

More than thirty adults and little kids dropped by Saturday morning to wish the girls happy birthday and see our new house in person.  Friends, neighbors, although sadly no enemies.  That's okay. We'll have another party so everyone who is annoyed by us can attend.

Crudites with mint dip, chocolate meringue pie, fresh fruit.

Homemade, from scratch, take all day to make cinnamon rolls.

Deviled eggs with chipotle peppers.

The best gravy I've ever tasted.  And I've tasted a lot.

The most definitive sign of a successful party?  Well, other than people staying well beyond the invitation times, empty platters.  When it's all gone, it means it's all good.

I had several compliments on the gravy.  So I'm going to share this recipe with you. It's been in the family for quite some time. At least 1 week.  My mom sent me the November issue of Southern Living magazine, and there it was. Waiting for a winner like me.

Up-A-Notch Sausage and Gravy

Adapted from Southern Living

1/2 lb mild ground pork sausage

Butter (if necessary)

1/2 package of button mushrooms, quartered

2 minced shallots

1/4 c. flour

1/2 c. chicken broth

1/4 c. white wine

2 c. half-and-half

2 T chopped fresh parsley

1 T chopped fresh sage

1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. pepper

1. Brown the sausage.  Take the sausage out and leave 1/4 c. drippings in pan.  If your sausage is lean like ours was, you'll have to add in enough butter to make 1/4 c. fat.  

2. Add the mushrooms and shallots in for a few minutes.  Then whisk in the flour.  Don't stop stirring!  Cook a minute or so, then add in the chicken broth and wine.  Cook a couple minutes while you scrape the yummy stuff from the bottom of the pan.  Add the sausage back in.

3. Pour in the half-and-half (recipe says slowly, I just dumped it in) and cook for a few minutes until it's thickened.  Stir in the rest of the ingredients.  Cook about 5 minutes. And serve with biscuits.

I needed it to be party ready so I put it in the slow cooker to keep it warm.  I also doubled the recipe for the party.  The only downside is that after a couple of hours, some of the liquid had bubbled off so it got a tad salty. Otherwise, it was worthy of a fistfight.  As in, Ryan and I almost came to blows over the leftovers.

Parties of five are fun.  Parties of thirty are funner.  I hope as the holiday season comes on, you'll enjoy one or two yourself.  And if you're interested in how we made the cinnamon rolls, hold on to your hats because we'll share that soon enough.  Have a great weekend, y'all!

Yes, I understand

Friends, Fans, Stalkers,

I'm going to interrupt our usual programming to talk a little bit about a parenting challenge. Move along if you're not interested--it's okay.  I feel I need to provide some support for those who've had the same issue we have around here.

It's about potty training.  I won't get into the down and dirty because it's not really about the nitty gritty.  Instead, I want to commiserate with parents of kids who potty train later than many of their peers.

I want to say it's okay.  I'm right there with you.

I've read about some moms getting grief from their mothers-in-law about their 3 year old kids still using diapers (as well as other family members and perfect strangers--what's that about?  Why should Mrs. Grundy care about whether my kid poops her pants?  I don't get that at all) .  Although some people have felt the need to make fun of us, I haven't really been cursed like that; in fact, my mom-in-law, Nancy, has been pretty damn awesome, offering a bit of useful advice and otherwise making no comment.  I'm sure some of it stems from the fact that she knows my eldest pretty well.  This gal doesn't do anything except in her own time.  My mom has been very understanding, too.  Makes sense because I didn't potty train until I was about 4.5 years old.  And look at me now! I am someone worthy of envy!

We've tried a few times over the past year to get KB off the diaper train.  And it has failed miserably. Tears, begging, fussing...and I'm not even talking about Katie's behavior.

In the past couple of days, however, we've had success. It's almost been *too* easy.  I'm not cocky enough to say we're there, but the mood around here is hopeful, and Katie's having a great time.  All of this shows me that waiting was the right choice.  Patience paid off.  For the record, KB is one day shy of her 4th birthday.

So there you have it.  If it's taking awhile to get your kiddo to peepee in the potty, relax.  You are not alone. Brush off the veiled (and not-so-veiled) criticism.  Be sure to ask your critics about their own bathroom habits since it's obviously an interesting topic for them.  Or just let it go, while keeping in mind that you can remind your kiddo about this when s/he goes on her/his first date.

And now back to our regularly scheduled ranting and raving.

Party Preparation

Remember how I told you The Kiefer Cottage is hosting an open house?  Yup, I am a glutton for punishment because I scheduled it on a whim and now actually have to follow through.

What've we been up to in preparation for said party?

Painting.

Mudding. Sanding.

Baking. Freezing.

I haven't planned a party in ages. My last one was pot luck and only involved impoverished graduate students. This time, we'll have small children and adults.  I'm not a huge "kid-friendly snack" advocate, so we'll see what we come up with.  Isn't the party Saturday?  A little late to still be making decisions.  Well, Georgette, you do the work and then you can start criticizing.   No thanks.  That's what I thought.  Anywho, Miss Meanie, we'll have homemade cinnamon rolls.  And some kind of beverage.  If we stopped there, it'd still be a success.

We don't know how many people are coming. In the digital age, I don't expect RSVPs from everyone--it's a given that many people will say *maybe* until a better offer comes along.  Others will assume that no response means "no". Adding to the uncertainty is the fact we invited the neighbors with just a little flyer and did not ask for a yay or nay.  So we could have as few as five people (just us--please I hope not--I have fifty sweet rolls that I cannot eat by myself.  Well, I could. But I shouldn't. My pants are begging me not to) or as many as forty.  Or more.  

On a funny note, I did get a bold-faced lie response.  A kindly reminder: Social media reveals all.  Also, if you're gonna tell a story (as opposed to just saying "can't make it!"), make it a really good one.  Like, I'm going to be recovering from my calf implant surgery.  Or I'm accepting the Nobel Peace Prize that morning.  Or I have this nasty hangnail that flares up each and every Saturday in November.  See how much more fun that is?

So all this is to say that if you need me this week, I'll be up to my ears in pie crust and doilies.  

Hidden Poo, Happy Home

Like many of you, The Kiefer Cottage is delighted to employ a kitty-in-residence as a recreational, stress-reducing, and pest-control device.

When we picked up our orange tabby model, dubbed "Rufus", a couple of months back, his disposal software was still in Beta. Like any buggy software, a little compromise was required, so we placed Rufus' waste output receptacle in an easy-to-find location while keeping it away from the stomping grounds of the small ones.

This worked well for a while, but with two issues. First, we wanted to start using the room given over to Rufus' waste management. Having his waste receptacle in there was no longer possible. Second, the small ones have gotten proficient at door knob operation, and with an abundance of curiosity that overrides any semblance of self-control or self-preservation, they will go anywhere at any time, including Rufus' waste management facility.

My Project Manager, ever the font of ideas, decided that we should relocate Rufus' waste receptacle to the basement. The only obstacle was the door to the basement, which for the preservation of the small ones, we keep shut and locked. As any kitty owner knows, a kitty must be allowed to access the waste receptacle at will, and at any hour, because the kitty will output waste, one way or another.

Thankfully, somewhere along the timeline of history, another human encountered a similar incompatibility between their kitty unit and small ones, and devised a solution: a door-within-a-door that is only large enough to allow passage of the kitty.

This model was even color-matched to our kitty unit. Awesome!

So, with a trip to Lowes for a plastic, premade version of the door-within-a-door and a few tools borrowed from my coworker, I set to work.

The kit of a man who knows no brand loyalty. 

Dumb old hinge pins never come out easily.

Caution: There Be Dragons. Or maybe just a step down that you won't want to miss.

Removing a door is always a prime pain in the ass. I have not yet devised a graceful way to do it. But off it came, onto the sawhorses.

The rule for cutting pretty much anything is "measure twice, cut once."

But that takes too much time. So I eyeballed it, taped down the handy template that came with the door-within-a-door, and drilled large, cannot-undo holes into the door. Then I drew some straight lines between those holes and went to work with a jigsaw (with the sloppy-but-fast blade attached, of course).

And suddenly, there was a large square hole in my door, into which I prayed fervently the door-within-a-door would fit.

Square-ish, I guess...

Thankfully, it did. Snugly. Very snugly. Next time I need to cut something, I'll employ Marge Innoverra to tell me what the outer acceptable boundaries are so'z I don't have to grunt and swear so much.

Doorway cat will watch you masticate. No, really. This door is in the kitchen!

Installed, it looks nice enough. It's $20 cheapness goes perfectly well with the wood-paneling encrusted door.

The kitty unit's software has downloaded the door-within-a-door app, but has only successfully attempted use once in the presence of a human. When the kitty's software fully integrates the door-within-a-door app into its native code, we will be able to relocate the waste receptacle, to the delight of all.