Monday, December 26, 2011

What a year, 2011

This year, the budget just wouldn't budge for a Christmas card.  I know some of you are holding back tears because our card was *that good* last year.  Maybe we can find a few bucks next year.  But don't be overwhelmed by despair because we have a great substitute.  The online holiday newsletter!

Dear readers/fans/loved ones/enemies,

2011 has been exciting for us.  For one thing, we bought a house!  Faced with the prospect of staying in the un-insulated Victorian in Northeast Kansas City, mere blocks from violent crimes (can you spell carjacking, Winslow?  good girl), we decided to get the heck outta Dodge and flee to the suburbs.  Only problem?  Our budget was in line with the same stuff we were trying to get away from.  In place of carjackings, we witnessed flooded basements, suffocating animal smells, neighbors with plywood signs lining their front yard (Obama haters with quite a beef, I tell ya), collapsed ceilings, decaying garages, and jungle backyards.  We spent a thousand bucks on one house only to be told it was sinking into the ground, making it insufficient collateral for a mortgage.  Right before we were ready to throw in the towel, we found this funky house in Roeland Park, with ceiling tiles, a tiny master bath, a severely outdated kitchen, and still managed to fall in love with it.  What a steal at $99k!  So that's awesome thing #1 (because newsletters have to be filled with awesome).

What else happened?  Andrew learned how to walk!  Who knew that babies did that?  For awhile, I thought he might never make it, but finally at 10.5 months, he took his first steps.  What a late bloomer.  Speaking of late bloomers, Katie, age four, is potty trained.  Almost.  I'd say this one is for the record books, which makes sense, because we are always out to be the BEST, even if it means being the best procrastinators on Earth.  And speaking of the best, Winslow is now a champion sofa jumper.  She can leap from the leather ottoman to the couch better than any other child on the planet.  If you're doubting me, you should know that I never lie or exaggerate.  Ever.  I am absolutely the best, most awesomest, brilliantest, humblest mom in Johnson County.  And you're so lucky to know me. Awesome things #2 through 438.

What about Ryan?  Well, he's a published blogger!  You already knew that, you say?  Dammit, I hate stating the obvious.  That will definitely affect my Klout score, which is well above 50.  That makes me a VIP in some circles--the "high school was the best time of life because I could crush nerds with my pinky and pretend that made me awesome instead of lame" circles. What's a Klout score? If you have to ask, yours probably sucks.  If it doesn't suck, keep it to yourself, you braggart.

What else made 2011 the awesomest year to date?  Well, I could tell you that I am Vitamin D deficient,  Ryan figured out that an AWD vehicle is not a savior in the snow ($$new bumper$$), Drew requires $45/month in diaper cream and has multiple food sensitivities, Winslow needs hernia surgery, and Katie had to have a molasses enema on Christmas Eve, but that would be complaining!  So instead, I'll say Happy Holidays!  Merry New Year!


  1. I cannot WAIT for the new year resolutions... you've got a lot to top!

  2. now that you're in roeland park, have you looked into attending any of prairie village presbyterian church's village u classes? click on village u banner.


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