Sunday, November 27, 2011

Dynamics of an Exercise Class

Contrary to popular belief, I really enjoy exercise.  And not just the plate to mouth reps I do with my fork.  For the past few months I've gone to Zumba, and I've learned a few things.

1) Most people can't dance.  Thank goodness for that or else I'd feel even more foolish in those classes.  Sure, many have good rhythm, but nothing more than that.

2) There is always someone dancing to the beat of some other drum. Perhaps it's the lone man in class dressed in shiny blue running garb sporting a mustache worthy of a 1980s motorcycle deputy. He's busy jumping so high he forgets to cha-cha-cha.  Or maybe it's the lady in back who can't see the instructor, so she's doing some odd combination of Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda moves.  I think they come to class to show off their own special choreography and maybe even compete with the instructor.  Ready for a dance-off?

3) Many participants have to engage in something I call "Zumba-phone".  Remember that game "Telephone" that we used to play in elementary school where folks sitting in a circle whisper a phrase to the next person and when you get to the end, what started as "Enchiladas are my favorite food" becomes "I have a really bad wedgie and my mother still cuts my meat for me"?  Well, in Zumba, getting a good view of the instructor can be hard, especially if she is really awesome and the class is filled to the brim with eager wanna-be dancers.  So most of us have to rely in part on other participants.  The first line gets it sort of right. The second turns that cha-cha into a booty shaking spin, the third row is busy shimmying (you do a lot of that in Zumba) and the back of the room?  We've started break dancing because we have no idea what's going on. And someone always ends up leaving in a huff because she can't keep up.   Mr. Mustache and Ms. Simmons-Fonda (see #2) combined with an obscured view of the leader makes it all one big mess.  It sure is fun, though.

Sadly, I'm out of Zumba for awhile until my little boy can handle the gym childcare once again.  So I'm headed for Jazzercise, which meets in the evenings after Ryan gets home.  Whatever will I learn there?

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