My Fall Mantel

Browsing around the blog world, it has become apparent that I am required to decorate my fireplace mantel regularly.  Switch out last season's decor with fresh, original tchotchkes so when people come into my house, they know that *I* know it's fall.  Or that Valentine's Day is here.  Or that it's pie season (which really is the only thing that matters to me as the holidays approach).

Purchasing stuff is out of the question.  So I've gone on another 'round the house shopping trip so I can decorate my mantel.

Yes, I'm off to a good start. An old plastic pumpkin bucket.  It's vintage, at least three years old. So that makes it Awesome!

Starr, really?  

You again?  Yes, really!  It's a "found treasure". I see vintage things on other people's blogs all. the. time. (I also see that add-a-period-to-make-sure-people-know-I'm-serious technique all. the. time.)

I'm not sure "vintage" is the appropriate term for that. Perhaps ugly Americana?

Perfect!  Have you considered a career in politics?  Your talent for words could pay off big time.

Oh, stop.

A peanut pumpkin. It's French. Which, of course, makes it double awesome.  

I agree.  It goes on the mantel.

Lovely.  Winslow and Katie won't mind donating their pumpkins to the cause.

Wait, these are the kids' pumpkins?  That go outside on the stoop?  Well, lemme say. You've *stooped* to a new low taking the fun out of Halloween.

You're totally right.  I'm a grinch!  Hmm...that's Christmas.  But it works well enough.

Look at all these leaves!  I'll grab a few for the mantel.

This?

Starr, it's a doormat.  It's wet. It's meant for outside, not your flippin' mantel.

Ah, you're right.  I think now I've collected enough to get started.  Let's head inside to put together my mantel of fall glory!

Uh, are you forgetting something?  You don't have a mantel.

Of course I do! It's...

I could've sworn I had one there yesterday.

I can't use the little ledges on the sides.  It's too useful for hiding things from the kids.

The base could work.  If I didn't have small children.

Didn't you swear you wouldn't stop doing cool things just because you have kids?

I also thought that you can *make* babies nap.  And that labor was only painful for the wimps.  And that only bad parents had kids who misbehave.  Now that I have kids, I know nothing about anything and will do a lot to protect my precious few untouched belongings from the outrageously attractive walking (and crawling) natural disasters.

Anywho, I'm bummed!  What do I do now?

That's on the enclosed porch. Where no one goes except for the cat.

Well, I tried, loyal followers, to create something of beauty for you.  I was going to take a pile of leaves, a few pumpkins (plastic one included), and a doormat, and turn it into something really fantastic.  

Boo!

Linking up to Funky Junk Interiors.